I'm just gonna type some things out because there is no one here for me to speak it to.  My life is in total chaos.  I have almost nothing left to give.  I give and give and give, but it's never enough.  I'm always the strong one, always the smart one, the one that people count on.  So many people depend on me being there for them, for me to be strong for them.  But who is there to be strong for me?  Fucking no one.  Even if there was, what the fuck could they do?  They would probably just make things worse anyway or they would end up going down on the ship with me.  The more people that get involved the worse it seems to get or the more people I seem to disappoint.  For example, if I'm doing something for someone at the moment, that means someone else is getting neglected and disappointed, which makes me feel like shit.  I don't have any tears left to cry, in fact I'm beyond crying at this point.  I'm numb to the situation.  I go through the motions day to day.  This is my life, all I can do is prepare for the worst and hope for the best.  Yeah, right.  I'm just... done.