For Tonya...

How do you let go of someone you have known all your life?  I'm finding that it is harder than I would have imagined.  I found out a little while ago that my friend of 22 years passed away on Wednesday.  I had not seen her in about 2 years, and that is the damnable misery of it all.  I will never be able to tell her how much I really loved her, how much I missed her during that time.  Her and her twin sister Tasha were like my family when I was growing up.  Even after I moved away they came to visit me.  And even after some time passed and we would run into each other again it was like no time had passed at all, the friendship was as strong as it ever was.  I know how terrible her life had been, certified crazy parents, disease, poor, trashy, being picked on, but none of that made her into a bad person.  She was one of the people that I didn't have to be anyone but myself for.  Even though we believed different things, liked different things, became different people, we were all still the best of friends because we knew that it was our differences that made our friendship stronger.  She was one of the people that was there for me when truly no one, not even family was.  

I have been lucky to have a lot of friends, but I am blessed to have friends that are more than friends.  People that really care for you, that would cry because you are crying, that are loyal, that would fight for you, lie for you, steal for you, and people that would love you whole hearted and unconditionally no matter what.  I now have one person less.